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Friday, December 20, 2019

A prayer for help, and praise for its answer





Today begins a new day, and a day that I am fully n the process of getting through this phrase of code dependency of being emotionally dependent on someone to feel loved, and to feel like I can not make a move without checking in with this person. I gave this type of authority to a guy that I was previously seeing, and it became really devastating when i felt the pull back of my emotions becoming less addressed in the areas of what he thought, nd what he would say if i did not seek his opinion about this or that. 



Right now I am thinking of the ways that i could have developed a healthier way in my relationship with God in the areas that I gave to this man that I was seeing. what if I placed the same measure of value in my time with God instead of placing it into someone that would possibly let me down time, and time again.  One thing that I have come to know over the course of my life is God will, and has never bee n the author of confusion, and He will never leave me although there has been times where I slammed the door of intimacy in Gods face. 

I just solely am taking back my power of where I am placing my faith in, and of whom I am releasing my emotions to. God is a great source in my life, and I have to stop denying Him of the time He requires from my life to seek Him, and to ultimately choose what, and where, and of whom I will follow in my life . i am choosing to concentrate on how I spend my time with the lord, and furthermore how I am disciplining myself on a daily basis. This process is not by far an easy one, but it is something that i am learning, and that I am teaching myself to stick with above all things in my life because it is very important that I remain faithful to God in every area in my life especially with my body. 


Here are some factors that i am changing in my morning time with God

  1. Instead of reading my bible from the app on my phone i choose to physically grab my bible, and intentionally read, and take notes on paper to write out my thoughts on what I have read.
  2. I desire to get back into the place of intercession prayer so for the next 31 days i am choosing to read a book on prayer entitled 31 days of prayer by Ruth Myers, and Warren Myers.
  3. The time that I place in reflecting on my relationship with God in everything that i do matters to me, and with this even in how I feel about the guy that I am seeing or not seeing at this time i still intentionally talk to God about it instead of bottling my feelings up I release them to the Father. 
  4. Mt mistakes are seriously becoming lessons that are teaching me how to earnestly come to God before i make any other choices that could affect my life in the wrong or right way. 

I am exciting, and nervous at the same time of what God is birthing in my. This self discipline fast is just that discipline. I did not think I would be able to stick with the first day of this fast because of how things has been going in my life, but what I do know is that I choose to push pass how I feel, and I choose to delight in God, and to lean on Him in everything in my life. 

How has your journey been going and how how you been able to see God pulling you closer to Hm just by you getting out of the way, and allowing God to clear your path, and to renew you in Him? 

Let me know below in the comment section. 

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